As parents the unforgiving and fast realities of life can sometimes harden us. We hear the wild, creative ideas of our children ,“I want to be an astronaut”, “I want to play video games professionally”, we default to “that’s silly”,”well that wont happen” and as a result, we chip away at their creative ideas and often delicate self-image. It’s an unfortunate reality of parenthood, but don’t be to hard on yourself, because being a dream killer is so much easier than being an enabler. Just keep in mind before you nay say; today’s dreamer, may one day become a renowned game designer or a flight supervisor at NASA’s mission control, it’s totally possible.
Confidence is Like Stacking Legos
For kids to build confidence and self-worth, they need stack up small but real victories (ie. “accomplishing goals”) over and over. For example, a child that has finally gotten an “A” on a spelling test should be celebrated to the highest level. Cheers, hug, take their picture holding their paper, post it on social media. Call a friend or relative and share the great news of your child’s accomplishment. Make their favorite dinner. Make them feel like it matters because it does. From there, rinse, lather, and repeat.
Be A Good Finder
Imagine how damaging it is to a child’s self-esteem and confidence to hear, “You got an A in spelling, but you still have a C in math”. Not only does this completely negate the child’s achievement, it sends a message that no matter the effort, they still won’t meet their parent’s expectation. It’s soul crushing.
Influencing the Next Positive Goal
Moving forward focus on the positive and plan for the next improvement. As an example, when tucking in your child say, “I just want to tell you how proud of you I am for accomplishing your goal. Maybe tomorrow we can talk about math? I know you can improve your grade. I’d love to hear your plan.” Influence Mode: On You’ll find that using influence is always more powerful in the long term than authority. By avoided authority-speak like, “bring up that math grade or else” you’re letting your child know that you want their input on how to resolve their grades. Secondly, your little one feels empowered because you believe in their thought processes. All of this enables their self-esteem while building their confidence.
The K-South “Confidence” Patch
Give us a call at 912-385-0208 and we’ll be happy to explain our martial arts and life skills programs. Our goal is to help you achieve your parenting goals while providing positive development both mentally and physically for your child.
Confidence Building Phrases For Your Child Throughout the Month:
“You are the best At ______.”
“I wish I could do _____ as well as you.”
“You make me so proud when you ______.”
“You’re going to be an awesome black belt.”
Happy Fall Everyone. Tang Soo!